Jesus Christ, leave New York alone already

I realize you're terrorists & everything, and maybe you're pissed at the residents of Soho, or all the mass media excreted there, at Broadway, at the gays, the hispanics, and mobs of college-age hipsterati, and possibly even a little miffed about the occasional homeless wreck flailing his penis and defecating at you on the subway.

But unlike you, we deal with it, though, with varying degrees of success, it's true. Drugs are a good one, especially mixed with booze. Overprice, high-calorie foodlike ingesteds suffice, escecially when it's some combination of cheese, meat, and leavened bread, and spicy goo. And bacon lollipops. And buzzing popping candy pouches. I suppose we could also exercise until we reach a temporary cartharsis that is shallow and pointless.

But the point is, man, we get a hobby, we hang out with others, we get laid, and occasionally start fistfights. There's really more crying and catharsis than there is pain. What's wrong with you terrorists, eh? Don''t quite have the faith in your beliefs you should? Well, we Americans were born into that state. As a baby, you look around and say: "this party sucks", and try to get away. Of if only we COULD! Sweet release.

You see, Americans are always looking for a reason to have a party. We don't want to talk about politics, much less think about them. The Horror! But we will have people over for drinks while we BBQ and bitch about the world. Notice I don't say: we sit around, serious looks on our faces, plotting a series of attacks against blah blah blah. That could be fun, you know. It doesn't have to be all DIE DIE INFIDEL all the fucking time. For fuck sake, get some originality. You got a problem with someone? Love them TO DEATH. Help them so much that your assistance isn't even required, they get what they want, and go the fuck away.

But even if none of that rambling gets through to you, remember this at least: IF YOU HAVE TO TERRORIZE SOMETHING, SPREAD IT AROUND, YA JACKASSES.